And the Adventure Begins!

These 30+ songs have been written on my heart for a long time, an accumulation of worship songs, tributes, love songs, and a few trademark goofy ones.  I'm slowly whittling them down to the 12 that will form the album, Deeper Wider.  I have a story to tell about the roots of love for God that have grown deeper and more solid since my last album, Herald.  The story also tells of the branches that have spread wider with love for people and issues God cares about deeply.  

My mind is alive with songs.

Finally, after engaging in a wide learning curve of new recording software, navigating computer problems, and carving out the elusive TIME that I divide like pie among many passions, particularly my children, Dave and I sat down last night and recorded the first tracks of the first song, appropriately titled, The Long and Winding Prayer.

It describes my life perfectly.

This is a long and winding prayer

That wraps around the deepest part of me

I'm gonna take a cold, hard stare

At the demons I've been wrestling

-Long and Winding Prayer, verse 1

If you've been reading my blog, Deeply Drawn, you know I've wrestled a lot since I turned 40 with various things: my purpose, my weight, parenting a teen, God.  It's the Jacob kind of wrestling, where you end up blessed with a limp called wisdom and humility, and with some real aches and pains thrown in!

What I remembered during our recording session last night was what a gem of a husband I have.  He is patient, encouraging, and quick as lightning with the software.  This is our 5th time recording together, and I think we've mastered the art of "when to stop."  Ha! Last night is was 11:00.  

I also want to thank my son, Noah, for his invaluable help.  He has spent a lot of time this summer learning the software and helping me, and I can't wait to use some of his musical skills on the album. He's trying to get me to write a hardcore song, so he can blast out on the drums and guitar!  Um, sorry, he's just going to have to channel his inner Jason Mraz coffee house vibe.

I was determined last night to lay my own guitar track, since I've been improving steadily on the instrument.  I looked at the piano longingly several times, knowing it would be so much easier (and less painful on my fingertips) to pop out a piano track.  But this process is about going deeper and wider, not simpler and safer. I'm happy with how it turned out.  I can't wait to beg the help of 3 of Noah's friends, who play upright bass, banjo, and fiddle.  They don't know it yet, but they are going to make this song SICK (teen slang for awesome!)  

I love my Guild...a gift from my dad

If you've read to the end of this post, please lift a little prayer over the process.  My heart is to use the tools God has given me to glorify him, not just musically, but in how I treat my husband in times of frustration, in how I prioritize my time, and in how I serve others when I'd rather be served so I can finish the project.  The last thing I want to be is a truth-singing hypocrite.  

By the way, my recording studio is anything but a "spacious place." The blog title refers to the state of mind found here:

Psalm 118:5

When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place.

Songwriting: The Tribute

From the time I was very young, I found my most satisfying purpose for songwriting was to write a tribute. This is a little embarrassing, but I think my first official tribute song was to the graduating seniors in my high school choir.  I got up during rehearsal one day, nervous and awkward, and played and sang my little song about how awesome they were and how much we underlings would miss them when they graduate.  I wonder if I found a rhyme for graduation.  Adulation?  I'm glad I've forgotten!  If the seniors thought I was a geek, they disguised their feelings, and thanked me for my song.

Over the years, I have written poignant songs for suffering friends, good-bye songs for teachers, funny songs for showers and birthdays, romantic songs for weddings, sentimental ones for my kids.  I love the process of personalizing a lyric, especially if it is like a secret wink that no one else sees.

Over the last couple of months, I painstakingly composed a song for my niece's wedding.  I had to write it for guitar because we could not fit my keyboard into the van with all the sound equipment, unless we left the kids and grandma behind, and the lodge where she got married had no piano.  I practiced the heck out of my guitar and have the finger callouses to prove it.

I knew Jenna and Alex would not want a sappy love song like The Rose or a traditional Ave Maria-type of song.  This is the couple who sent out a "save the date" wedding video that was worthy of a Target Commercial award for cuteness and joy.  My favorite engagement photo of them was on the tandem bike that they actually ride around in their neighborhood, always garnering hoots and hollers.

So when I wrote the song, I knew it had to have a nod to the bike.  And to their playful romance.  And to their faith in Christ.  Probably the first wedding song ever about riding a bicycle, but it brought a big smile to the adorable couple, and that's what it's all about.

Chorus:

Let's go ride a bicycle together

And let's go make a lovely life forever

We'll build it on the ROCK that will not falter

I give my heart here at the altar

Now if I only had a picture to share of Dave and me dancing Gangnam-style at the reception.  

Legacy

It's been awhile since I wrote the song Legacy.  I remember what inspired it:  two back to back reports on the morning news, which I was watching while running on the treadmill at our local gym.  I remember it clearly, because both stories made me cry, which is awkward when you're running next to strangers.

The first story was about Bernie Madoff, the ponzi scheme convict, who cheated masses of people out of millions of dollars.  His adult son cracked under pressure and killed himself.  I remember thinking...gain the world and lose your soul...and your wealth....and your family....and your dignity.  It was a story that could have come right out of the 1 or 2 Samuel or Kings or any number of books in the Old Testament.

What happens
when a father chases after
everything that doesn't matter
to gain the world and lose his soul

His son
who is desperate to know
the value of his soul
learns to put his hope in wealth

And the kingdom crashes down
And there's blood spilled on the ground
-lyrics from Legacy

The story that followed was an interview with Elizabeth Smart, ten years after she was abducted as a 14-year-old from her homeand forced to live as the slave of a creepy, crazy couple in Utah, until she was found 9 months later.  What struck me was that even though she had endured a nightmare, she was clearly loved and adored by her parents and was recovering beautiful, even talking about a growing passion to become a lawyer to help other victims of violent crimes.

What about a legacy
of faith and hope and charity
for the children looking up to me
what about a legacy

What about solid ground
what about a love profound
mercy, Jesus, work in me
to leave a legacy 
-lyrics from Legacy

All of us who have entered into the great adventure of parenting must carefully count the cost and consider the legacy our children will inherit.  We can store up treasures here on earth, convincing ourselves it is what our family needs and wants, or we can lay a foundation of faith and character that they CAN.NOT.LOSE.  We can teach them the value of their souls.  There is no greater legacy.

The Long and Winding Prayer

I love to write bright and joyful songs that celebrate God's goodness, and funny songs that make us chuckle and relate, and breezy winsome songs that you can turn on while you're cleaning the house.

But I can't neglect the lament.  The song of confession.  These songs usually come to me after dark nights of the soul, where I spend  time in the desert until God leads me back to green pastures.  These times have been regular parts of my spiritual journey, and I'm no longer afraid of them.  I look at them now from the perspective of a tree whose roots are encountering obstacles in their search for water.  In the end, the roots find water and grow deeper.

Songs like Westward Home from my Herald album, Turn My Heart from Songs with Wings, and Pilgrimage are examples of laments.  In every lament and confession is a call to hope and restoration.  Read Psalms and Lamentations for proof!

Last summer was a desert time for me.  I wound down some weird paths trying to find relief for my angst.  I read some weird books that didn't help.  I think I only wrote one song.  But in August, I wrote:

This is a long and winding prayer
That wraps around the deepest part of me
I'm gonna take a cold, hard stare
At the demons I've been wrestling.

And a lament was born.  It is a necessary song to include on Deeper Wider.  I love how Richard Foster puts it in his chapter on Confession from Celebration of Discipline:

The person who has known forgiveness and release from persistent, nagging habits of sin through confession should rejoice greatly in this evidence of God's mercy.

New Music/ New Space

I've decided to turn my musician's website into a blog.  It's free.  It's versatile.  It's not quite up and running fully, but it should be soon.  I hope you like the new look!

I plan to share the evolution of songs, the people and things that inspire me musically, and God willing, a new CD to be released in 2013.  The songs are ready to be recorded.  We just have to dive off the edge into that great abyss called "starting."

For this past year, a picture has been painted on my inner canvas that looks like the beautiful tree at the top of the page.  It's roots reach down wildly, it's branches spread widely.  Today I found the picture.  I bought the image, because it is THE artwork that expresses the songs on my next album, Deeper Wider.

I look forward to sharing the birth of this album, from conception to labor pains!  I still intend to blog about a variety of topics over at deeplydrawn.blogspot.com.  This blog is devoted to my music ministry.

More to come soon.  Thanks for stopping by.