Spreading the Frosting (not a post about cake decorating)

At the intersection of homeschooling, music ministry, and family management, there are no stoplights.  It is more of a round-about, where I peel off in a different direction, depending on the day. 

Today I will sit by my daughter, reading Anatomy lessons and digging out a chicken bone to soak in vinegar.  I will check online to see how my son did on his chemistry test (God bless co-ops!)  I will rehearse the song I am singing tomorrow night at the Minnesota Teen Challenge Gala, where 150 drug offenders seeking treatment and transformation will march up on stage as I sing "Remind Me Who I Am" by Jason Gray (watch here).  I will hopefully stay on top of the laundry, since Wednesday is laundry day.  I will pray with my kids, chat with my husband, and hopefully get/give massages at the end of the day.

As my kids get older, inching toward adulthood and self-knowledge, I find myself praying more for them to find their passion and to excel for God's glory.  St. Irenaeus' quote, "The glory of God is man fully alive," is on my mind.  I keep reminding them that they can be a witness of God's love and power, no matter what they choose to do with their lives.  

I have to remind myself of that, too, when it seems like time I could be putting into music is spent in the car, taking the kids to activities.  It is not wasted time.  It is relationship time, all of us together, interacting.  It could be the seed of the next humorous song (thank you Tim Hawkins for modeling funny family songwriting regarding car farts! watch here)  But admittedly, I cringe when I realize that my music is in the lane of the round-about where the drivers are not sure what to do, so they keep circling and waiting to see the right signs.  

I thought I might have a CD close to done.  I have one song almost done.  

I thought I might have a busy concert schedule.  I have 3 gigs booked.  (Could this be because I put NO effort into promotion???)

I don't have a clear aim, but I love my life, and I don't think God is keeping tally of concerts and recordings.  I think He is pleased that I spent time this summer capturing my friend's beautiful testimony in song (listen here) as she lives with terminal cancer.  I think He is pleased when I leave the piano bench to go bump and set the volleyball with my girls.  And get them in some clean clothes.  

I try not to sow and water seeds of envy at other's musical successes and careers.  I have made my choices. I have spread the frosting out instead of globbing it in one spot.   It's enough sweetness for me.  

And the Adventure Begins!

These 30+ songs have been written on my heart for a long time, an accumulation of worship songs, tributes, love songs, and a few trademark goofy ones.  I'm slowly whittling them down to the 12 that will form the album, Deeper Wider.  I have a story to tell about the roots of love for God that have grown deeper and more solid since my last album, Herald.  The story also tells of the branches that have spread wider with love for people and issues God cares about deeply.  

My mind is alive with songs.

Finally, after engaging in a wide learning curve of new recording software, navigating computer problems, and carving out the elusive TIME that I divide like pie among many passions, particularly my children, Dave and I sat down last night and recorded the first tracks of the first song, appropriately titled, The Long and Winding Prayer.

It describes my life perfectly.

This is a long and winding prayer

That wraps around the deepest part of me

I'm gonna take a cold, hard stare

At the demons I've been wrestling

-Long and Winding Prayer, verse 1

If you've been reading my blog, Deeply Drawn, you know I've wrestled a lot since I turned 40 with various things: my purpose, my weight, parenting a teen, God.  It's the Jacob kind of wrestling, where you end up blessed with a limp called wisdom and humility, and with some real aches and pains thrown in!

What I remembered during our recording session last night was what a gem of a husband I have.  He is patient, encouraging, and quick as lightning with the software.  This is our 5th time recording together, and I think we've mastered the art of "when to stop."  Ha! Last night is was 11:00.  

I also want to thank my son, Noah, for his invaluable help.  He has spent a lot of time this summer learning the software and helping me, and I can't wait to use some of his musical skills on the album. He's trying to get me to write a hardcore song, so he can blast out on the drums and guitar!  Um, sorry, he's just going to have to channel his inner Jason Mraz coffee house vibe.

I was determined last night to lay my own guitar track, since I've been improving steadily on the instrument.  I looked at the piano longingly several times, knowing it would be so much easier (and less painful on my fingertips) to pop out a piano track.  But this process is about going deeper and wider, not simpler and safer. I'm happy with how it turned out.  I can't wait to beg the help of 3 of Noah's friends, who play upright bass, banjo, and fiddle.  They don't know it yet, but they are going to make this song SICK (teen slang for awesome!)  

I love my Guild...a gift from my dad

If you've read to the end of this post, please lift a little prayer over the process.  My heart is to use the tools God has given me to glorify him, not just musically, but in how I treat my husband in times of frustration, in how I prioritize my time, and in how I serve others when I'd rather be served so I can finish the project.  The last thing I want to be is a truth-singing hypocrite.  

By the way, my recording studio is anything but a "spacious place." The blog title refers to the state of mind found here:

Psalm 118:5

When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place.